I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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