2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
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