girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize