ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You took a bar mat shot.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
