I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
