How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
