Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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