But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
