I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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