You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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