My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
