so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
