2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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