I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
