At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
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Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
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Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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