Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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