We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
