idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
In other news, I just burned my penis
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
