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and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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