Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize