These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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