I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
