you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
