wakey wakey hands off snakey
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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