Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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