Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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