I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
