so explain again why im purple
no
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize