dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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