He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
