Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
