The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Dear god my vagina.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
