would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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