porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
