I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
