Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize