dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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