$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
