It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize