I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
