I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
