Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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