Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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