Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
