Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
