office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
