Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
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She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
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I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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