Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Randomize
