SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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