Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
