he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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