both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
and you fell through a lawn chair
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
