When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
