I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize