hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
