these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
