Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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