i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
