I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
