PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
