The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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